


Stay With Me

by thealphadog



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 3A finale spoilers, Alec is OK, Angst, Death, Don't worry, I just hate myself, I promise, I'm Sorry, I'm mad at myself for this, M/M, Malec, Memories, One Shot, Spoilers, This didn't actually happen, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 19:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphadog/pseuds/thealphadog
Summary: Alec looked down at his chest, his body numb-Because there was one of his own arrows, piercing right through his heart.





	Stay With Me

The first thing a Shadowhunter is ever taught in practice, is that _things can change in the blink of an eye_. Alec had been training his entire life. He knew the ins and outs, just like the runes that were etched into his very skin. He knew that this wasn’t just his job; it was his _life._

 

But the last thing he was expecting, was that his life would be taken away by his Parabatai.

 

Jace plunged the arrow head into his chest. Slowly at first, all the while staring directly at Alec; no hint of remorse in his cold, demonic eyes. Stabbed by his own weapon, his own _family_ —

 

_It was all too ironic._

 

“ _Jace_ —,” Alec spluttered out, and for just a second, his friend came through to him. He could see it in his eyes. “I _know_ you’re in there.”

 

The shell of his friend simply smiled. The dishevelled grin hit Alec like he’d been stabbed with Jace’s own seraph balde, and every fibre of his being was kicking himself for getting emotionally involved. Emotions are the downfall of a Shadowhunter; that’s what he’d been taught. They clouded your judgement, made you _weaker_.

 

But in this moment, and for the past three months, _Alec had known different._

 

_Emotions make you unstoppable._

 

Parabatai are connected to each other—they feel what the other feels.

 

And no matter how far beneath the surface, no matter how _distant_ and _small_ and _faded_ it was; Alec could _feel_ Jace inside that beast. He could _sense_ him—

 

_And he was screaming._

 

The demon thrust the arrowhead in deeper, so much so it was on the brink of piercing Alec’s beating heart—

 

“I want you to know,” He struggled back against the strong grip of Jace, his body full of demonic energy. The pain was excruciating, unbearable—

 

But the pain of losing Jace forever would be tenfold.

 

“That I _forgive you_.”

 

Silence—

 

A moment of weakness—

 

Jace’s eyes changed for longer, then; and his grip faltered.

 

And then in one swoop, he was thrust back against the alley-side wall, his grip being released from the arrowhead that was stuck up in Alec’s chest. The golden glow that covered the sky above Alec’s head; the feeling he had inside his bones—

 

_Relief._

 

Not from the fight; but because _he was here_. _He was back._

 

_Magnus Bane was back._

 

“ _Alexander!”_ Alec knew Magnus’ voice anywhere. He knew it so well that it often scared him. His smell, his taste, his touch—

 

Magnus was _a part of him._

 

The blast hit Jace like a double-decker bus, smashing his demonic body against the wall and dropping him to the ground with no mercy. Alec’s Parabatai was motionless for a minute, not that he could see, though.

 

Because he knew that if he moved, that if the arrowhead was touched even the slightest bit—

 

It would impale his heart. It would drain his blood worse than any vampire.

 

The world was spinning when Magnus ran over to Alec, his face _so pale_ you’d think he was dead. He cradled Alec’s head like he always did, his other hand hovering above his inconsistently rising and falling chest; hovering above the _arrow._

 

“Alexander ...” Magnus repeated, his eyes tracing the outline of the man that had reopened his heart. His voice was sunken and low, his eyes were glossy. Yet to Alec, he still looked beautiful. “You’re going to be OK.” He reassured him.

 

But Alec felt no reassurance.

 

All he felt was acceptance.

 

A yard away, Jace let out a gut-wrenching scream. His body convulsed disgustingly, his bones cracking and creaking in agony, the demon inside of him was trying so hard to stay within him.

 

Jace collapsed to the ground, falling to his knees, his hands clutching at the concrete beneath his body, his yells filling the entirety of New York City with his suffering—

 

And then he was _choking_. He was choking on something—

 

It wasn’t blood. It _wasn’t_. It was too _black_ to be blood. It shot out of his throat like he was shedding a second skin, and splattered onto the ground disgustingly. Jace let out a shaking breath, his face gaining colour, his eyes flashing once more, like his body had just been reinvented.

 

Like he wasn’t possessed anymore.

 

Because he wasn’t.

 

Because Magnus hadn’t gone to _literal hell_ and back for nothing. He’d gone with all the fire in his bones, his terror filled thoughts and memories—

 

And he’d returned with a way to _get Jace back._

 

_And nothing else._

 

Jace’s eyes came into focus then. His pulse quickened when he clocked Magnus holding Alec, and he scrambled to get to his Parabatai, clutching Alec’s shaking hand to his chest like it was his life source.

 

“ _Alec_ — I’m _so_ —,”

 

“This _wasn’t_ you.” Alec let out and Magnus physically shivered. Because his voice didn’t sound _at all_ like the Alec he knew. His words, his manner—but _not his voice_. It sounded tired, it sounded coarse and raw—

 

_It sounded like he was dying._

 

“Magnus,  _please_. Do _something_ — _fix_ him—,”

 

“I can’t.” Magnus spoke quietly, fixing a strand of Alec’s hair that was covering his eyeline. “I don’t have my magic anymore.”

 

Alec shuffled on the ground defensively, his eyebrows furrowing. Jace and Magnus halted him gently; Jace stared maliciously at the arrow he’d thrust into his best friend; his _Parabatai_. It was right there above his heart.

 

And he’d just been about to thrust it deeper into Alec’s chest. He’d just been about to _kill him._

 

Alec let out a coarse breath. “Your magic,” Magnus tried to shush him, but Alec continued, “ _Why?”_

 

Magnus’ lip quivered, his eyes falling onto Jace’s. “I traded it. For the power to _save_ Jace.” Jace frowned at Magnus, his eyes so close to overflowing.

 

“ _Why_ did you do that?” His jaw clenched. “You  _didn’t_ have to do that, Magnus. _Not for me—,”_

 

“ _I didn’t do it for you,_ Jace.” The depleted Warlock stared Jace in the eye, no remorse was seen on his face. “I’m sorry.”

 

Jace was silent for a few seconds, because of course Magnus hadn’t sacrificed his magic for him. Of course, he hadn’t. He’d done it for one reason, and one reason alone—

 

_He’d done it for Alec._

 

For three months, word of a Shadowhunter and a Warlock eloping had travelled like wildfire. The news had reached the furthest parts of Idris and Alacante, as well as most of the institutes in the US.

 

To this day, Alec still couldn’t remember his wedding.

 

He couldn’t remember anything after Magnus had turned that corner. His heart beat had increased tenfold, his brow had begun to sweat, his cheeks had flushed. And then when he came back into reality, he was standing in front of Magnus, his arms snaked around his waist, his lips soft to the touch.

 

Judging from the looks on everyone’s faces, _he’d_ done this.

 

He’d given in to his desires, his curiosity—

 

_His heart._

 

His mother had looked at him like a weakling; like a _child_. But that had been the first moment Alec had experienced giving into his emotions.

 

He didn’t view himself as weak.

 

He didn’t view himself as a dishonourable Shadowhunter.

 

Because standing next to Magnus after waking up from whatever had possessed over him hadn’t simply filled him with just hope—

 

It filled him with the possibility of having _his own life._ A life that he’d chosen himself, with a path that he himself had paved. Not one made by his family, his expectations, his own logical mind.

 

“Magnus,” Alec let out a breath, staring the Warlock in the eye. “What did I just do?” Magnus chuckled, and that action had hit Alec right in the stomach. Shadowhunter’s rarely felt butterflies. But in that moment, Alec was hording an army of them in his gut.

 

“You did what you wanted.”

 

Alec’s vision faltered then, as a golden glow wrapped around his entire body. He could feel the yellow satin sheets, the absence of his clothes; he could feel the man sleeping next to him.

 

He coiled his body up playfully, turning to Magnus as he stared serenely at the ceiling, and planted a soft kiss upon his lips. Magnus smiled, beaming.

 

“ _Wow_. A treat so _early_ in the morning?” Alec’s eyes flicked over Magnus’ face. It was as if he was trying to remember this moment, trying to stick it inside his mind forever, because he never wanted to forget this.

 

He never wanted to forget the face of Magnus Bane.

The taste of his gin cocktails at ten in the morning—

 

Or the smell of his home brewed shampoo—

 

The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled—

 

Or the way he always flicked his eyes between Alec’s lips and face when he wanted to kiss him, when he _wanted_ him—

 

When people hear the name Magnus Bane, they picture him as the four-hundred-year Warlock he is. They picture him as powerful, strong—

 

Dangerous—

 

_Flirtatious_ —

 

And he is all those things. He was all those things to Alec when he first met him, after shooting an arrow straight through a rogue Circle member.

 

But then his mask had faded, and beneath it lay the beautiful man who was staring into Alec’s eyes right then and there; who was tracing his pristinely polished nails over his cheek.

 

Who was holding him in his arms on the cold concrete floor, trying not to look at the arrow that was sticking out of his chest.  

 

Alec’s vision wavered once more, but he didn’t see a memory—

 

All he saw was a blur of the man that he _loved._

 

“Alexander, don’t fall asleep,” Magnus demanded, shuffling closer to the broken Shadowhunter. “ _Don’t fall asleep_.” He spat, his jaw clenched.

 

Alec took in a shallow breath. “I won’t,” He spoke quietly, then shot Magnus a slow smile. “Besides, I have to get back to the institute.” Alec grinned sleepily at Magnus, who’s tears were cascading down his face.

 

In this moment—at this time—

 

_It was just them._

 

_No one else mattered._

 

All that Alec saw was Magnus; and all that Magnus cared for was Alec. The whole world had stopped for the two of them to have this time, to reminisce, to remember—

 

That it had been _good._

 

“ _This.”_ Alec spoke, and he couldn’t hide it anymore. His eyes were stinging from tiredness; his throat was closing up.

 

“This.” Magnus repeated. He knew what he meant.

 

This—this right _here_ —the _two_ of them—what they’d _shared_ —

 

_This._

 

Magnus wanted to yell at him so badly, to shake his body and get him out of this slumber, to magically remove that fucking arrow from his chest—

 

But he couldn’t.

 

Alec’s head dropped backwards into Magnus’ lap, and he shook with fear. “No— _no_ ,” Magnus clutched Alec’s head, caressing his hair and staring into his eyes—those eyes. Those brown eyes that had captured him from their first meeting. “ _Alexander_ —come  _on_ —,”

 

“Magnus,” The warlock stopped talking, unable to stop his tears from hitting Alec’s face. They dropped down onto his cheeks, his chin, his nose, his lips _. “I love you.”_

 

“ _Please_ ,” Magnus whispered, his entire body shaking. His lungs screamed, his mind was on fire.

 

His heart had turned to dust.

 

“ _Stay with me_.” Magnus whispered, bringing his lips to Alec’s slowly, and simply leaving them there, just to take him in, to engulf him back into the world.  

 

Alec didn’t stir.

 

“I—,” Magnus’ throat had closed up, his body clouded with numbness, like he’d been drugged with a lethal vaccination, like he’d just woken up from being in the electric chair.

 

Because Alec’s eyes were closed, his eyelids still oily, his body still warm.

 

His chest was still.

 

His heart pounded in his ears so loudly that he couldn’t think, he couldn’t move. His eyes obscured by tears, his feelings shattered into a million pieces—

 

Alexander Lightwood—

 

Pretty boy—

 

Magnus’ future—

 

It was all gone.

 

It was all gone in the blink of an eye.

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I asked myself why I thought this was a good idea. And concluded that it wasn't. 
> 
> "But, Beth? You love Alec? You don't actually want him to get hurt do you?"
> 
> "Why of course not!"
> 
> "Then... why the fuck did you write this,"
> 
> "I have no idea." 
> 
> I have no idea.


End file.
